It Cant be Done…

Published June 20, 2011 by insufficient mums

I’ve explored it, and it can’t be done…

After 10 months of trying to single parent 3 children whilst maintaining a rewarding job, I have surrendered and come home.

Actually, I’m not sure that surrender is the right word. I have failed at work. In a job I love, that I have a natural talent for (I’m actually not good at a lot of things) I have been unable to make half time hours work. For my boss. For my clients. For my family.

I have tried bloody hard.

In parenting my baby blessings, I have disciplined, routined, and rewarded. In getting them to school and care in the morning, I have come to the edge of child abuse. I have surrendered our fun times, our daytimes, and our nighttimes.

After all, cleaning and housework do have to be done sometime…

And the experts say I need some ‘me’ time. I need to do something for me. Have time with friends. Go out. Find something I enjoy. Get a massage…


On whose money? On whose time? Who would be looking after my kids? Anyone would think I needed more to do….

I surrender. I’ve come home to re-parent To rethink our lives…

But, I’ve done some research along the way. Single parents, it can’t be done! Mums, it can’t be done!

I’ve been blessed with stories of the shared experiences of my comrades. Whether we have one child or three. Whether or not we have a spouse. Whether we have a child with special needs, or a child who keeps their room tidy. Whether we have a job we hate or love. Whether or not we are paid a living wage.

It can’t all be accomplished (even barely adequately) by one person.

We’re all late for work. We all get too many takeaways. We all know we need to feed our ‘selves’ more. And we can’t tell anyone. Smacking will take us to court. And everyone else is coping.

Aren’t they?


2 comments on “It Cant be Done…

  • The world needs to catch up and realise it is not the 60’s anymore with a world full of married couples with 2.3 children, a husband who works a 9-5 job and a wife who stays home. Times have changed and so have peoples roles. The world is harder and faster but for some reason the expectations of still having pristine homes and children remain. Sod off!

  • I agree, not sure what the answer is nut I applaud your honesty. Especially when the world/ national view is we have this seperate species that is purpose built to look after children. At the risk of being hated I have a shared care agreement with my ex wife and two years on have a positive supportive relationship with her so the 50/50 thing works. There’s a balance in there somewhere, this blog is a solid start in swapping ideas and making it work

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