I admit it. I’ve finally reached my rock bottom.

Published February 21, 2012 by insufficient mums

I have LDS (Lame Duck Syndrome). I have to admit that I am powerless over lame ducks, and they make my life unmanageable.

I will be swearing off lame ducks for two years, until I feel strong enough in my recovery. What this means is, if you are a lame duck I won’t be befriending you, I won’t invite you round for coffee, and most importantly, I will not marry you.

Don’t get me wrong. I fully support the right of all to be a lame duck. To befriend one, or love one.

Its just time I was honest about my weaknesses. I don’t have a desire to fix lame ducks. I do have an overwhelming desire to accept them in all their lameness, and love them anyway.

This can be a painful process, as they don’t love back. They’re ducks.

(Actually, lack of love I can cope with. Its when they shit on me that it gets messy).

Anyhoo, time to ditch the bottom feeders. Lame ducks begone! For 24 months anyway. The only way for this chick is complete abstinence.

If you are a lame duck, you can help me in my recovery efforts by ducking off.

Don’t get in a flap. Its not you. Its me.

So, ducks beware. Shooting season is here. Failure to heed warnings will be met with stuffing and skewers.

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