Pain Full

Published August 31, 2014 by insufficient mums

Well, I’m glad I didn’t publish that. I have a commitment to share my reality – sometimes raw and ugly – sometimes with entrails and heart tissue on the page. I share it regardless of audience. I share how it is and what it is. Because I am human. And if I feel it, I know others do to.

I am never alone.

But it does not define me. Pain, both historic and current, is a liar.

Pain will tell me that I need to live in it, swim in it. That it’s where I came from, and where I need to sit. But that simply isn’t (fully) true.

Yes, pain, I feel you, I acknowledge you, and I respect you. But I will not give in to you. You are not all of who I am.

I do not give in to you because you are mythic. The wounds I feel are huge. But transient. I have lived long enough to know that pain passes.

I have lived long enough to know that I can access other areas of my life. The grown woman, who feels strong. The mother, who feels responsible. I am a competent and skilled worker. I create my own happiness and my own life. I build it block by block.

Pain is only one facet of who I am.

Yes, pain, I feel you, I acknowledge you, and I respect you. But I will not give in to you. You are not all of who I am.

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