I haven’t been punched in the face for ages!

Published September 18, 2014 by insufficient mums

As a little girl my life was somewhat untidy.
Without anyone to bounce my thoughts off, I decided I was too sensitive, too caring, too goody-goody, and that I used my brain too much – which embarrassed me severely.
There was a lack of adult guidance in this, but in the decades that followed I ceased to care, or behave well, and certainly buried my brain.
This worked to an extent. I had a hell of a lot of fun (from what I can still recall), but I did have to keep the ‘thinking’ hidden – so I shamed myself to some extent.
Yes, I crippled my own life path – and the path I did take took me to some really dark and brutal places. For a long time.
The hardening process lead me to becoming a really nasty piece of work. There are people from parts of my life who will likely despise me forever for the things I did.
But when your shell hardens, you no longer bend with the winds. You become brittle. And you snap.
I did.
It took a long time to grow a new skin. A flexible one. An honest one. A kind one.
And yet strong enough to withstand being hurt sometimes. If I could feel, I could hurt.
I’ve been growing for a while now. And I like her. I like me.
I can be trusted. I can be lead into temptation and make choices that are caring, loving, and honest.
I’m quite proud of adult me.
And I haven’t been punched in the face for ages! šŸ˜€

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