How to live

All posts in the How to live category

I Think We’re Alone Now

Published July 21, 2017 by insufficient mums

Did you know that I am never ever ever alone?

Not ever.

Not for 5 minutes. Not for 5 breaths.

There is always someone, whether of good of bad inclination, wanting something off me. Maybe food. Maybe transport. Maybe just my time.

If there is a clear moment during term time, that is demanded by the forms that need the filling, the things that need the fixing or the cleaning. Even getting an alone moment to do this shitty dross work is nigh on impossible.

Then I have friends who love me.

If you are my friend you already know that I cannot be your ‘only’ friend. That would be unwise. My availability for ‘friend things’ is restricted.

Feeling the pinch right now. Everybody wants a piece of me. Dammit I got my own shit I wanna get done.

And even if I didn’t have that impulse, I still want time to shower, to sit and breathe, to nap if I damn well want to.

I’m fekn over it really. I wanna upsticks and move to somewhere that no-one knows me. Or somewhere where there is no-one.

I want the chance to be lonely. To be so alone that I can have some writing time. To be so alone that some things are clean. To be so very totally alone that I have the impulse to go be with some folk for some time.

Only one place I can think of like this. And it calls me sometimes.


For the Moon

Published September 16, 2016 by insufficient mums


Each month the Moon calls me
to walk the Earth
Yet here I sit
and walk my hearth
There are things out here that will keep you alive
See! I’ve put them here for you
Let go of the security
that keeps you bound
Show up!
Let the path lay bare before you
I can see
people breathing
in far off spaces
I’ve never met them
I never will
I have my children
So, I raise them
I love them
I do for them
I do with them
I teach them
And each month, another Moon
Up stakes and go
Here you will feel you will see you will be
You will do more than just survive
LIVE this life
But I’m here
Where I clean
And I struggle
And do my best
so my children may one day see the Moon
Yet every month the Moon calls me
to walk the Earth
And here I sit
and walk my hearth

Here’s how it works.

Published June 19, 2016 by insufficient mums

If I work for you, you pay me. Or you work for me.
Unless I am fundraising for you. Which is something I volunteer to do. Because I get to decide who gets my energy in any energy exchange.what's best for me

If I fundraise for you, I am not part of your clean up crew, set up crew, or decision making crew. If I fundraise for you, I will show up in the capacity discussed, work to a high standard, and go home. And I will not be filling in your forms. You can fill in your own damn forms.

If I am working for you, I do not represent you. Unless I have accepted a job as a representative. In the same way that by hiring me, you do not represent me. You do not advocate for my fairer pay, better hours, or more successful work/life balance.
I don’t represent you in how I look, dress, or speak. I offer my work. You offer your pay. The relationship ends there.
I will not be attending your social functions, retreats, team building exercises, or awards functions. Unless you pay me to attend.

I will not be attending because I have other unpaid things to do that require my attention.

If this is a problem, please approach me about buying more of my hours.

If I am paying you for a necessary service in my life, I do not expect to have to perform any of that service for you. I may support what you are doing by fundraising for you, but if I am paying you I will not be filling in your paperwork, replying to notices, or filling in where there is a need. You will be responsible for providing the services I am paying for, and where there is a discrepancy, you will be responsible for sorting it from your own reserves. The only reason I am paying you is because this is something I can’t do myself. So if I hire you, I don’t want to be part of doing this myself. Not any of it. Not forms, applications, notes, sausage sizzles. None of it.

That is why I am paying you.
If funding is a problem you may approach me for fundraising. Only.

I hope that clears that up. These things are called boundaries. They are very useful, and in fact essential for single parents with three children.
You do not have to wait until you are a single parent with 3 children to learn them and apply them.
I will not be teaching them to you. Unless you hire me to.


Late Night Comfort

Published October 25, 2015 by insufficient mums

I am at that time of nightShout out to my arms
when profound memes are too deep to digest.
I am at that time of night
when nothing seems more legitimate than old skool punk
I am at that time of night
when I know that my desires were the only thing that ever really got me into trouble
I am at that time of night
where my decision to become a parent would not hold up to cross-examination
I am at that time of night
where I would ask for closer support
But that same proffered ‘support’
has broken me too many times
to ever rely on ‘other’.
And so, I rely on me.
But, it’s that time of night…

Work Life Balance…

Published August 7, 2015 by insufficient mums

Just a wee bit crappy. Maybe a wee bit sicky. Certainly tired.

Just crappy enough to know that seeing a Suzuki Swift just irritates me. Nothing wrong with the car, but the people who choose to buy them seem to be the same people who just need a kick up the backside in general.

Temper is also short with the non-compliant minions…

It’s been a long season. Courts, and death, and funeral… and some of the women I treasure the most have been through hell, just this season.

I am exhausted, but attempting to restart my life in small ways now.

Physically, I’m attending to my Green Prescription, and quite shocked at how unfit I’ve become so quickly now I’m older. Mainly joints and ligaments… anything that stretches or clicks, and probably shouldn’t.

Energetically, I’m sleeping. A lot. I figure I should trust my body.

Emotionally, I’m shifting away from some of the causes I pursue, because they bring me low. Even on my wee political page, I’ve always tried to post not only about the problems, but also about potential and practical solutions. But Cecil nearly finished me. I gotta recharge.

Environmentally, I’m just concentrating on home and hearth. Still decluttering while I struggle to maintain Flylady cleaning in the face of daily (and unreasonable) opposition.

Politically, I’m looking further into Socialism, as the New Zealand movement seems as deeply environmentally focused as it is socially. Their main focus seems to be combating injustice on all levels. And that suits me just fine.

Creatively, I’m hoping that my tiny bit of blogging, maintenance of my pages, and my wee tarot business are taking care of that. I know I need to be writing and even drawing more. But hell, I’m finding I just cant do everything.

Academically, I’m still learning about tarot, Jung, and archetypes – and likely will be forever. I read across a wide range of material every day – political, social, and spiritual.

Spiritually, I’m more in contact with the Moon and the seasons than I ever have been. I run my life to that clock. And that keeps me in constant communion with my Gods. Just being of the Earth.

And sexually, I’m being treated just fine! Thanks for asking.

Socially – that’s the big one for an introvert like me – I got out last night for a couple of hours for a meetup with my local Pagan group. It was bloody hard to get out of this house of small wild dependants by 5pm, but do it I did. And I will do so again every month. I love socialising, but need time to recharge after interacting with people. So as a friend I can be problematic. “Come here, I like you. Now go away for a month.” Not everyone’s cup of companionship.

So, there it is. My recovery programme.

I have come to replace the word ‘balance’ with ‘inclusivity’. These areas of my life are never in balance – they can’t possibly be. There are to many of them. But I include a little of each in my schedule – more of some as the Moon waxes, less of some as the Moon wanes. It’s not a balanced diet, because I can’t eat that much. But my intention for living as busy and as well as I do is that, over time, no nutrient is completely left out.